This is what success looks like.
Tiffany Haddish likes to talk to her water.
I imagine all that pain just going down the drain, she says.
“I call it programming the water, she continues.
I program the water to get me jobs.
I program the water to bring me adventures.
Makeup: Armani Beauty Neo Nude Foundation; Pixi by Petra Eye Reflection Shadow Palette; Huda Beauty Quick ‘N Easy Precision Liquid Liner; CTZN Cosmetics NuDiversal Lip Duo in New York City 21
Whatever energy you put out, thats what you get back.”
Overnight, the comedian soared to how have we lived without her?
She is bold, bawdy, and undeniably magnetic.
Timemagazine named her one of the 100 Most Influential People in 2018.
In addition to curbing her enthusiasms, shes committed to creating jobs for people who look like her.
Youre putting food on somebodys table by doing this, she says.
Jason Kim / Design by Kaitlyn Collins
Her eyes may be twinkling mischievously, but she means business.
And I want to be done by 50.
Not done with life, but I want to relax.
I want to enjoy all the fruits of my labor.I want to sit back and eat plums and pomegranates.
So I got a lot of work to do.
I should make that a song, she says, reaching for a pen.
Jason Kim / Design by Tomoko Takahashi
“Note to self.”
Its just the two of us, she says, pulling in her four-legged companion for a snuggle.
And theres a cat around here somewhere that I can only find at nighttime.
Makeup: NARS Light Reflecting Foundation; Tom Ford Shade and Illuminate Cream Face Palette; Makeup by Mario Master Mattes Eyeshadow Palette; Nars Exposed Cheek Palette; HUDA Beauty Lip Contour 2.0 in Warm Brown
I heard theres cookies over there.'"
Dress: Nanushka; Earrings; Rings: Bea Bongiasca
Shes looking like a snack and she knows it.
A self-exploration journey prompted her big chop, she says.
Her smile beams brighter than a halogen bulb when speaking about her first days without hair.
The most alive I ever felt.
And then I was jealous of every bald-headed man Ive ever seen.
Dress: Raisa Vanessa; Shoes: Stuart Weitzman; Rings: Mejuri, Jennifer Fisher
Shes slowly swaying now.
When you touch the back of your head, you feel it in the back of your feet.
Mississippi raindrops, she rhapsodizes, felt like a billion, million kisses from God.
And I could feel every raindrop go through my whole body."
A coconut oilandbaking soda concoction she mixes is perfect for exfoliating away dead skin, she reveals.
Laughter at dawn is another must for the actress.
Makeup: Pat McGrath Labs Skin Fetish Sublime Perfection Setting Powder; Fenty Beauty Match Stix Contour Skinstick; NARS Lip Gloss in Chihuahua; Beckisue Neon Pink Matte Eyeliner
The first two hours is when you really get everything done for the day, she says.
It changed my perspective on men, because they really nasty, she says.
And it also helped me realize how lonely they are and dont have nobody to talk to.
Jason Kim
She pauses for a beat.Because they so nasty.
People get so mad at me because Im being myself.
Theyre jealous, she says with a dismissive wave.
Shirt; Pants: Hanifa
How does she get to be doing all this cool stuff just being herself?
Encountering someone this genuineand genuinely unfilteredis as rare as, well, a black unicorn sighting.
Its way easier than being fake.
I tried to be fake, she replies.
When I was trying to be something I wasnt, my soul was screaming at me.
What are we doing?
This is not who we are.
Living inauthentically, she argues, is bad for the soul.
“Stop pretending bitch, she later adds, warming to the subject.
You might actually find somebody that really loves you.”
Haddish has jumped out of her seat and is now twerking like a pro.
Cookie Monsters never had it this good.
Three minutes later, were both panting and giddy.
“I have music coursing through my veins.
I love it,” I tell her.
“High vibration, right?
We success, girl, Haddish crows.
“We woke up successful today.”
Im just thinking outside the box right now, she says.
My imaginations all over the place.”
Her grandmothers recent death has left her utterly bereft, and shes been inconsolable for months.
I lost the love of my life, Haddish says, sobbing.
I worked my ass off to keep her alive, and it didnt work.
My first best friend was my grandma, and she was my hero.
Only Haddish could make a moment thats so desperately sad truly funny.
Lawwwd, not the dog.
Wake up, Dreamer!
I was like, Why am I acting like this?
Oh my gosh.'"
She compares the pain shes currently feeling to a torn muscle meeting a deep pregnancy contraction.
That shit hurt, she shares, as tears slowly march down her cheeks.
It aint killing me, but boy does it hurt.
Self-care is expensive, she admits, and shes told her therapists as much.
Writing has helped her process her overwhelming grief, as has radical honesty.
If I feel like crying, I just cry.
It scares people sometimes, but Im not keeping secrets either, she states.
I dont have the capacity for keeping secrets.
If somebody ask me, Im telling.
Laughing to keep from crumbling is a skill she was forced to master early in life.
She learned to make her mother laugh to avoid being pummeled.It was a defense mechanism, she explains.
If Im funny, then I wont get whooped as much.
By 13, Haddish and her four siblings were placed in foster care, where she was molested.
Four years later, she was date-raped by an acquaintance who posed as a police cadet.
All the while, she struggled academically, reading at a second-grade level in high school.
Jason Kim
“People was always calling me stupid in school, she says.
I was always figuring out ways to cheat, ways to get around certain things.
Defeating enemies, bullies, by making them laugh.
It was a lot of work.
She discovered her calling after a teacher sent her to a Laugh Factory comedy camp for troubled youth.
I had gotten over the hate part or the how could you?
part and was more into the where were you?
and what happened so bad in your life?
There was a lot of me being forgiving and him asking for forgiveness.
So I check everything.
Haddish is far too busy to be bogged down by bitterness.
I got some land in Eritrea.
Im about to be a full-blown farmer, she says excitedly.
About to open this grocery store in South Central [Los Angeles].
Were going to have Black-owned products from Black farmers in there.
Thats going to be dope.
And it will be the first of many, she promises.
But you’re able to learn how to take the not-great moments and make them awesome.”
