Hustle culture comes at a price.
Note
Trigger warning: This story discusses trauma, work addiction, self-harm, and suicide.
This is about one author’s personal, anecdotal experience and should not substitute medical advice.
If you’re having health concerns of any kind, we urge you to speak to a healthcare professional.
Depression has always been the cinder block to my anxiety-filled Mylar balloon.
As long as I kept moving, I wouldnt sink to the murky depths of my mind.
Stocksy / Design by Tiana Crispino
I had my first bout withdepressionin high school.
My best friend and I had been drifting apart for months.
When I was seven, my dad died suddenly of a heart attack.
I had never felt so grown-up.
Much like my childhood, my teenage years ended abruptly.
This time, I was 17, watching dementia rob my grandmother of her memory and personality.
Stocksy / Design by Tiana Crispino
I tried to distract myself with school, studying to the point of skipping meals and losing sleep.
The more I worked, the more I convinced myself that this was the only way to deserve rest.
Its not a look that works well in our society."
When I was in university, my friends and I were close-lipped about our struggles.
From the outside, it seemed like we were endlessly hustling but always thriving.
We called other peoplebravefor being open about depression while internalized stigma kept us from revealing too much of ourselves.
We surrendered to insomnia under weighted blankets and the glow of light-therapy lamps.
We traded up likes and follows for wedding invites and sought-after internships.
Exhaustion was a small price to pay if the alternative was admitting that our work/life balance wasnt fully actualized.
Despite the stigma surrounding depression, theres actually a reason for it.
According to Mertes, our brain creates depression (and anxiety) on purpose to protect us.
We called other peoplebravefor being open about depression while internalized stigma kept us from revealing too much of ourselves.
Hustle culture keeps our eyes trained on the horizon, insisting that we prioritize our careers above everything else.
Its reminiscent of the unmitigated #GirlBoss advice we hear from the likes ofKim Kardashian.
Working to excess “can also be a way of filling an emptiness, says Mertes.
Those neurotransmitters are very important for our happiness and mental health and they can become quite addictive.”
With hustle culture, inching closer to the horizon seldom gives us clarity about what we want to achieve.
So we keep working to avoid looking at whats pooling in the drain.
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Hustle culture does come at a price though.
Mertes points to the increased pressure on millennials, having grown up withsocial mediaas a babysitter or constant companion.
During our teens, we seek approval from our peers, conforming to certain norms and rebelling against others.
Sometimes we just want to blend in.
Jan agrees that social media encourages social comparison, making it difficult to envision who we want to be.
Owning your own company is not as easy as it looks online.
Not all of us want that."
Its helped me see where the facade is wearing thin.
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Robinson A, Bonnette A, Howard K, et al.
2019;24(1):e12158.
