Note
This is about one author’s personal, anecdotal experience and should not substitute medical advice.
If you’re having health concerns of any kind, we urge you to speak to a healthcare professional.
“Health” is a confusing and often subjective term.
Sometimes it feels good, and other times threatening.
Often it means nothing and everything to me at the same time.
And, like with many things, the pandemic has shifted my perspective on it.
Health, as a hypernym, was the lifeboat on which I progressed in my eating disorder recovery.
I gave myself an education on nutrition and broadened my capacity for compassion and body neutrality.
But the pandemic hit and my routine was altered.
The healthy foods I ate didn’t feel as good without a schedule or a social life.
I ate gluten regardless of my sensitivity to it.
I wore sweats every day because they’re soft.
Comfort became paramount even when I was noticeably uncomfortable with the physical changes it spurred.
I leaned hard on old habits; emotional eating and sad boredom.
I still felt bad looking in the mirror, even when no one else was there to see it.
So, when is comfort better for your health than traditional “healthy” ways of living?
And when does that stop being true?
But, Resnick also mentions traditionally healthier ways to lower cortisol, things like meditation and light exercise.
So my internal ping-pong match about health and comfort continues.
Of course, I am able to separate myself from this battle enough to recognize my privilege in it.
Coming up for air is easier said than done.
But, in that, is the realization that while different, those things will always be connected.
After almost a year forgoing my usual healthy practices, I feel worse for the wear.
I never really got the longterm respite I craved.
Perhaps it was important for me to go through this deviation as part of my progress.
Comfort will always be a focus in the way I choose to take care of myself.
But a year into the pandemic, I’m finally able to see what’s no longer serving me.
The age-old advice regarding moderation remains relevant despite the changing circumstances.
“[We] have to find some middle ground in the global crisis we find ourselves in.
So, I’ll keep showing up.
